There’s an author in me.
I’ve been trying to build what that means for the last 2 and a bit years. It started when I didn’t go back to ‘work’ after my maternity leave with Maverick ended. I stayed home, writing, while the kids were in day care or school, keeping Maverick home with me sometimes, momming during the days, too.
I embraced the writing, starting my blog in January of 2019, self-publishing my book in May of the same year. At times, the blog felt like a chore, especially when I started staying at home with both kids last March.
Side note: HOW has it been a year since the kids were sent home from school for spring break and didn’t go back for months?
Pre-run, this morning.
Lately, I’ve been straining for subjects to write about. And since I have written the blog from the very beginning for myself, I think I’m going to step back from writing twice-weekly for myself right now, too.
There are a lot of other things that are taking priority. The kids, the fact that I only have two sets of 3.5 hours each week that I have dedicated to myself. The fact that I hate getting out of bed early to workout, or do anything, so it makes sense to take advantage of the time when Maverick is in preschool to do things like workout and shower, and not just feel like I have to write.
I still have two books that I am pretty actively working on at the moment. Romilegal: Downtown is getting very close to shopping around and Clara and Reg (latest description here) is in early editing stages. Romi’s second novel is sitting at the tips of my fingers, crawling closer to the forefront of my mind every day. I have a loose plan as to what’s going to happen to her over the trilogy, and first draft-writing is one of my favourite things to do. The word-dump stage is just so cathartic for me. I can’t wait to be there again one day soon!
Not to mention, I have the kids to take care of. 'Nuff said there.
This is more about me than anything ... and means the most to me, personally.
Something I realized lately—during my weekly chats with my cousin Rowena where we meet to discuss our thoughts on the Indigenous Canada course I spoke about taking here—is that I need to reevaluate what my days look like before the summer time comes and my kids are home with me again. We never really got to experience what it’s like to have a summer with school-age kids last year. There were no summer camps put on through the school, or anywhere else, that we sent Archer to. There was no year-end excitement for him—we just had a discussion the other day about how he is not going to be in grade three when he gets back from spring break. I found myself explaining the process of going to school until the end of June and then returning to school after summer break, in the next grade one level up.
He didn’t know.
And I hadn't realized what we had missed out on as a family, having a “normal” summer, though we did go on one amazing holiday, which I hope to repeat again this year. We also hope to go camping, the kids are pretty insistent on that! And I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but maybe we’ll even be able to get the babysitter over to watch the kids and have a real date night, one where we go out to a restaurant or maybe even to a movie, as a couple. Who knows, maybe we’ll even see our families this summer.
We can’t know right now.
What I do know, is that the priorities that I’ve made for myself have changed themselves. I have my sights set on the next certificate that I’d like to get through SFU and I am manifesting big things for Romi and my writing career.
Anya the author. The author that’s always in me, whether I keep up with my twice-weekly blog or not. She’s in there, she’s written three books (THREE BOOKS!?) and published one. She keeps a journal and has made such big strides in self-discovery and improvement in herself, that I couldn’t be prouder.
I plan to keep the blog and update it whenever the mood strikes and the time allows. But I’m officially taking the pressure off of myself to post twice per week. I’m sure that I was the only one that noticed how frequently I was posting—though my mom did ask when the blogs were coming back when I took a break over Christmas—and that’s okay, too.
The blog is another project of mine that I’ve done for myself, that I will do in the future, just for me.
I’ll still be an author, and I’m not entirely sure why I was worried about that before. I have nothing to prove to anyone.
And I’ll still be here, writing.