My kids are brothers.
I will never know that brotherly bond; I can only witness it from afar. As an only child, I’ve always said that the sibling relationship is not one that you can ever know unless you have a brother or sister yourself. It was the number one reason that we decided to have two kids. Brad always wanted two, but I found myself on the fence for a very long time, especially following a less than ideal first birthing experience. But I let the desire to see Archer have a little sibling win, and I’m very happy with the choice.
My writing companions this morning felt fitting to the theme of today's post.
The sibling relationship is not one that you can ever know unless you have a brother or sister yourself.
I felt the feelings of contentment with our choice in the size of our family reveal themselves a few moments ago. We were going upstairs to brush teeth and get dressed. Archer called to Maverick, who was behind him on the stairs, “Last one upstairs is a rotten egg!” It flooded me with memory of what it’s like to have to have that competitive streak, to have another person around to tease and joke with. Race up the stairs, throw dump trucks down the hill with and just have around.
I guess maybe I know a bit more about their relationship than I’m giving myself credit for. Though I’ll be the first to admit that all relationships are unique, and no one will ever know what it’s like to be them.
I had a lot of cousins growing up, a couple who were very close in age to me. And quite a few that were much older, tolerating me and the little cousins pretty much only when they had to. There were times where they would help us go sliding in the winter, or play hide and seek with us, laughing when we got stuck in the muddy yard at our grandparents’ house, or if we couldn’t find them in the massive property of trees and hills and bushes.
Chocolate Milk on our Canada Day Cookout
Current Favourite Pastime
I can see these interactions between Archer and Maverick, their brotherly bond, and I am so grateful for it and them. The last few months have been very difficult, I’ll always be honest about that. I’m not alone in that. Every day presents its own challenges, sometimes where the six-year-old is more difficult to handle than the two-year-old, mostly because I anticipate the toddler-terror to living up to his nickname. Beneath all that, it’s a beautiful thing that we get to witness. Those teeny-tiny moments that are over before they begin are what I live for these days. The kids enjoy routine, like the repetitiveness of our days—see link to my Instagram post below—and while I crave more, I appreciate what I am learning through watching them and the smiles on their faces at the smallest of things.
I was always happy with being an only child. There was nothing that I felt that I was missing out on, and while I always say I was not spoiled rotten, my single-child status certainly spoiled me in some aspects. I can see in my kids that I don’t have to do anything to make sure that they don’t feel like they’re missing out either. I hope that we can nurture those feelings so that they are always grateful despite the bumps and curve balls they’re certain to face along the way.
Just don’t ask Archer to share anything these days. We’re having a bit of a struggle with that lately.
One thought I want to add is that I don’t kid myself that they might not be best friends, and could grow to be very different people. But as a mother, I hope that they’ll always have that brotherly bond and choose to have one another in their lives. It’s a wish that I’m certain all parents have. I am no different.
Brotherless with sons,