It's enough to be good enough.
When we were going through a particularly rough time with Archer recently, it was recommended to us by his day care providers that we take this course, Circle of Security International – Early Intervention Program for Parents and Children.
My initial, internal reaction was to say no. A parenting class was most definitely not for me.
Then I thought about it a little bit.
What would the harm be?
I have the freedom of making my own schedule Wednesdays through Fridays while the kids are in day care and I was available on Friday mornings from 9:30 am to 11:30 am for eight weeks starting at the end of January.
Did I really, honestly and truly have a reason not to go? Other than my somewhat twisted gut reaction that I was somehow above attending a (free) class about parenting?
I sure didn’t.
So here I sit, eight weeks later (in the Dominican Republic…don’t judge me! We had just booked our trip when the course came up. And I was assured by the class administrators that the last week was a recap of all of the previous weeks, which I did attend!), the number one thing I have taken away from the class is that I am only a human, doing the hardestjob on the planet. And I am not alone.
I am not alone in my child having tantrums, throwing things and saying mean words that while they may not be completely intentional, they certainly sting.
I am not alone in having to work to understand my child’s needs.
I am not alone in having a million and one things to do while one child cries in the corner because his brother looked at him the wrong way and the other child is tugging at my leg while I try to cook dinner.
We’re all doing our best. And we were reassured in the first week that it’s enough to be good enough.
Rarely seen evidence that I was, indeed, this pregnant. Twice.
(With Archer on the right, Maverick on the left.)
A group of us gathered weekly and watched videos prepared for the Circle of Security program, which taught us how all people are naturally either coming or going away from a safe base at all times and we as parents are the safe base for our children.
In a nutshell.
The point that I want to get at more than the course’s mandate is that it is essential to put emphasis on how important we are to our kids.
There is value in connecting with them, even though it’s not realistic for them to have your attention 100% of the time.
They actually assure us as parents that it is reasonable to be there to support our kids 30% of the time.
This is a number that I can get on board with!
There’s obviously a lot more to it than just these few ideas, but my takeaway from the program was a positive one and I am proud of myself for saying yes.
The specific difficulties that we were having with Archer have not gone away, as I believe he was going through a phase that has more or less passed, but I feel that I am a better, more attentive mom and person for having gone to a parenting class.
Add more yes to your life,