When I sat down to write today’s post, I wanted to write more about boundaries, further to this post. Since accepting boundaries as part of my relationships, I have been so much happier. So much. Because I’ll let you in on a secret. Boundaries are about you … and not anyone else.
Which brings me to my topic for today’s post: letting go.
On my rainy walk this morning, there's always time to reflect.
I saw this quote on a friend’s Facebook yesterday and it really resonated with me. I have many past houses I’ve lived in, metaphorically speaking. Even my current house is changing, shifting, hopefully improving. Every day I try to be a better person, for myself, for my kids, and for those relationships that sometimes need boundaries. One category of relationships that has been the hardest for me to manage is friendships. I have friends, close friends, forever friends that will always be there. But I’ve struggled to find that BFF, who I want to turn to person—other than my husband, of course!
Now, that person might not be out there for me, I’ve learned to recognize that. It’s part of my process in letting go. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want it. And it doesn’t take away from the relationships that I do have with my friends—but it’s really fricking hard to keep up meaningful friendships when we have to keep six feet apart! Not to mention that the weather makes going for walks and getting outdoors a little more difficult than it was during the summer.
There’s a reason why it’s my favourite season!
5 Steps to Finding Your Soul Sister
Continuing the thread of jumping all over the place, Erin Treloar chatted with a friend of hers on the podcast Raw Beauty Talks last month. I listened to the episode (found here) the other day and wanted to share her advice for creating lasting and meaningful friendships:
Cheer for one another – be each other’s biggest supporter. And not just for the big stuff! Especially as a mom, I notice when friendships serve who I truly am, including the daily struggles I have in every aspect of my life.
Share openly – honesty is the best policy! If you can’t talk about the hard things, then maybe that’s a sign.
Create memories – this is the one that I get most excited about. I love creating memories. It’s been especially hard in this Covid season and I can’t wait to get back out there—on a plane, at a campground, in our own home, on the trails—and create more memories with my dearest friends.
Keep lines of communication open– this one ties into sharing openly; it’s just as important, if not more, to be open in communication with your friends. Which leads us to the last item …
Be expert of holding space – practice this often with my kids. To sit and listen, be the safe space that they—or your friends—need.
These subjects are weirdly intertwined for me—or maybe not so weirdly—and I think what I’m trying to say is that letting go is part of maintaining healthy relationships. Let the ones go that aren’t making you happy, or aren’t what you’re looking for. And sometimes, this isn’t by choice of your own, but comes from the other person. Consider it a blessing in disguise: if they don’t choose you, then they weren’t meant to be in your life. Letting go is always a choice, even if it isn’t yours first.
When scattered thoughts come together,