Why is it our societal default to worry?
Let me paint a picture of my morning for you (confession: I am writing this Thursday morning because Friday I have a day of baking and crafting planned with my friend Tina so I wanted to get this blog post ready in advance). We slept in. I crawled out of bed at 8:10 am with Archer shortly after me and Maverick making noise only after he heard us moving about. When I walk Archer to school, I like to leave the house by 8:40. We were actually ready to go on time, but it was raining buckets and Maverick was ready for day care, too, so I took them both in the car and we headed to the school to drop Archer off first.
Photo by Derek Story on Unsplash
I did a loop in the school yard. There was no parking. The bell was set to ring in one minute. There was a spot just within the no parking signs, near the fire hydrant at the entrance to the school. I asked Archer if he would be okay walking from there and when he said yes, I put the car in park and helped him get ready to go. Win/win. I didn’t have to take Maverick out in the rain and run down the street and across the school yard. Archer got to walk himself into school!
I was able to watch him cross the yard and line up with the other kids. It was the first time I did it, and I felt good about it. I mentioned to a passing mom that it was the first time I watched him go in (instead of walking him to the door) and she said something along the lines of “don’t worry too much, he’ll be fine!”
Was I worrying? Should I be worrying?
That would be a resounding no from me. Sure, he’s in kindergarten. And I’ve walked him to the door and watching go inside every other day in his kindergarten career so far. I plan to walk him most days, but it just so happened to be easier not to today.
Why was this woman implying that I should be worried?
Just as we can choose for it not to be my default to have mom guilt, I think we can also choose not to worry so much! Let's start by asking the question: Why is it that our society is so inclined to worry? And to have guilt?
To each their own, I’m certainly not judging. I know that we all do what’s best for ourselves and our families and that these choices are not necessarily the best for everyone. But it seems to me that guilt and worry are seeming to be commonplace. And I don’t think that they should be!
We had a special visitor to our neighbourhood the other day ...
Archer Shaking Hands with the Big Guy in Red
As I watched my oldest son walk across the school yard, I wasn’t worried at all! I knew that he would make it to his classroom just fine. There were so many other people around us and he had heard the school bell. So what was the problem?
I don’t really have an answer, I just wanted to bring my feelings to light. It felt good to watch my big boy walk himself to school. And I was right there, as I should be, making sure he was safe. That’s my job, after all. It’s so hard to know what our kids are capable of until we let them try. And try ourselves. Change the default to worry. And maybe just be.
Try something new. Push your limits.
And don’t sweat the small stuff,
Anya